What? What is this?

A post? An actual post from me?

Yes… I am actually going to post something other than a quick little update.  I am in such a BLAH mood lately.  I am just not myself anymore and I can’t wait to just snap out of it. If I ever do. I don’t know what the hell is wrong.  I feel insane.  I just don’t feel like writing anything anymore.  I’ve even contemplated cancelling my blog… shutting down. But I know sooner or later I’d regret it.

Anyway, I figured before anyone starts to worry about me I should update my blog somewhat. 

Let me give you a rundown of my past week… its kind of a blur- I feel like I’ve kind of just "been existing"… going through the motions of living but not really. 

• Last weekend my brother and a few of his friends/boys Ryan used to coach in basketball stayed the night.  It was fun (ooh I used the word fun!) to see them again… they are now in 10th grade and when Ryan coached them they were in 7th grade (he also coached them 8th grade the following year).  We were planning on going to their b-ball game tonight (or… last night) but we forgot.
• Sunday Missy and Brian called us to meet for breakfast, and we met up at Bob Evans for a grub of a meal.  Haven’t hung out with them in quite awhile, and it was nice to see them again and catch up.
• This week was pretty much work work work…. attempt to clean the house…. attempt to Christmas shop…. attempt to not lose my mind.  We put up the tree uhm… can’t remember which day… and I was content with just getting the actual tree set up and really didn’t care if it got decorated or not.  Ryan did put some ornaments on it last night, but no lights.  Which kind of made me sad, so maybe I’ll actually put lights on it. It just seems so pointless… we’ll be taking them down in a few weeks anyway.
• I got my hair cut Thursday… it really needed to be trimmed badly.  I love getting my hair trimmed. It feels so much better. 
• Before my hair appt. I went to Target to stock up on some coordinating wrapping paper, ribbon and bows.  I think thats my favorite part of the holiday, wrapping presents.  So I do like something about this month.  I like to attempt to be creative and have some fancy looking presents (although I can’t afford the super pretty wrapping stuff… maybe someday… oh wait. Nope).  I have most of the presents that I’ve bought so far wrapped, and today I made my gift tags for the presents.  Put me in a little better mood, although my house is now trashed from wrapping stuff.
• Yesterday I had some major drama with my student loans.  I think this has been the straw that broke the camels back.  I wish I could come up with a way to fake my death to get out of these student loans.  Its overwhelming.  And I’m not even paying on them yet.  I just don’t know how we are going to get by financially once we do have to start paying them.  Just ONE of my 4 loans is going to cost us $170/month… thats the one I can’t consolidate and that one is only 1/3 of the total of my loans.  So can you imagine what the other 2/3 will cost once I consolidate?  Yeah… $45,000 in loans is going to take me a lifetime to pay off.  Makes me wonder why the hell I even got a degree… its not like having a decent job will make a difference… I’ll still end up making the same amount as McDonalds workers do after paying those loans each month.  Frick. Life sucks.
• Uhm. What else.  Tomorrow we were supposed to go out to dinner with some friends for the "3 of Us" birthday (Me, Don and Heather all have the same birthday- Dec. 10th.  Crazy, huh?), but I am just kind of in a mopey no-fun mood.  H&R cancelled b/c they couldn’t find a sitter, so I pulled a flakey-h and backed out too.  I just am not in the mood for any fun conversing (is that a word?).  I think Ry and I might try to go out, just the two of us… maybe that’ll help cheer me up. 

Well, I can’t think of anything else to update.  I promise I’ll try to write more often.  Try.