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Parenting is what structures children and teaches them respect,
obedience, discipline, and self love and provides nurturing support,
and loving. Because parenting is crucial to a child’s development it is
very important to carefully choose a style of parenting that will
provide discipline, love, support, and guidance to create a healthy and
happy child. There are three common parenting styles, giving in, giving
orders, and giving choices, and there is only one parenting style that
is truly appropriate and effective. Find out where your parenting style
fits in and whether it will prove as a detriment or a benefit to your
child
What Parenting Style Do You Use?
The giving in
parenting style is called permissive parenting, and permissive
parenting can be a detriment to a child, it teaches a child that rules
do not have to be followed because with permissive parenting no limits
are set, and these children must learn how to control their own
behavior alone. These children are the ones that grow up to defy
authority and any other human being, they do what they want, when they
want without worrying about consequence or the feelings of others.
These children will have the hardest time getting along in society and
with their peers. It is important not to give in to prevent your child
from throwing a tantrum, if you do you are creating a child who will
grow up to feel as though he/she can go through life demanding, and if
the demands are not met he/she will act hostile and throw tantrums.
Parents who permissively parent feel as though they are parenting well
because they provide the child all his/her wants when in reality the
child is being deprived of his/her needs the essentials; discipline,
support, and guidance.
You are PERMISSIVE if you:
- Give in to your child by giving him/her what he/she wants.
- Set
no limits or guidelines for your child because you feel as though it
makes parenting easier and minimizes tantrums by letting your child do
what he/she wants. - Find yourself eager to please your child even if he/she has been disrespectful.
- Allow your child to talk back and do as he/she pleases
- Your child demands and you give in.
- Your child is running over you and is running the house
The giving orders parenting style is called authoritarian parenting.
These parents are very militant; they give orders and set tons of rules
that they expect the children to follow all of the time. Good behavior
is rewarded and bad behavior usually follows strict punishment. The
problem with authoritarian style of ruling is that children will expect
to be rewarded for good behavior and may become afraid to express their
true emotions for fear of becoming punished, children will also become
very afraid of their parents and as they become older they may feel
much hatred towards the parent. Although being heavily disciplined
these children can grow up to feel emotionally sheltered, and insecure,
and in some cases depressed. These children may even become reckless
and self destructive because of the lack of emotional support and the
overload of strictness. These children might never get the freedom they
so desperately need, they may not even learn how to emotionally express
themselves which can lead to unhealthy relationships and them
struggling with inner emotions.
Your parenting style is AUTHORITARIAN if;
- Set a lot of rules and hold high expectations of your children to follow all of them
- Consistently punish your children for bad behavior and avoid speaking with them to come to a clear resolution.
- You are obsessed with having overly obedient children
- You don’t allow your child to make choices instead you make demands
- You give your child very limited freedom
- You chastise your children because you feel as though they have embarrassed you
The
giving choices parenting style is called democratic. This is the best
and most effective style of parenting because it allows the parent to
respect the child’s emotions and to consider their requests; the
children also learn how to respect the parent. This style of parenting
allows the parent to listen and observe the child, parents are able to
gain clear incite into the child’s behavior and therefore can
effectively resolve the problem while nurturing, teaching and
discipline the child at the same time. When a parent gives a child a
chance to make choices the parent allows room for explanation and
allows the child that much needed independence, it teaches the child
that he/she can make decisions and have consequences, it shows the
child that the parent understands and respects the child’s emotions and
behavior. The child gets a chance to be involved in decision making,
the child feels important when he/she is allowed to make decisions.
Democratic style of parenting also sets limits, and helps to structure
the child, and it teaches the child responsibility. Many of these
children are very successful, well-rounded and emotionally healthy.
You use the DEMOCRATIC style of parenting if you;
- Allow your child to make choices in certain situations as opposed to being demanding
- You sit down and listen to your child and together come to a solution
- You
take the time to explain to your child why certain behavior is
inappropriate as opposed to letting misbehavior slide and as opposed to
automatically chastising your child - You give your child a considerable amount of freedom to enjoy his/herself
- You are patient and tolerant for much of the time with your child
- You make it a point to analyze your child’s behavior
- You discipline as well as love and support your child
- You have the best interests of your child in mind
It
is very easy to get stressed out so if your child begins to whine and
complain take a breath and calmly figure out what is wrong with the
child, try your best not to snap or yell at the child
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