Its Thoughts for Thursday and I have FINALLY just got done posting on everyone else’s blog, but haven’t had a chance to even think about my own!! I had a good idea the other day but I forgot about it. Ugh.
So, I was thinking recently that I really should blog about Porter… about how many tantrums he’s been having lately and about how we started "Time Outs" recently. I wanted to document how he accepts/does not accept being in time out, like a daily documentary of how his tantruming and fits and stuff that stimulates the tantrums and how we handle it. I’m finding that I’m having to repeat myself way too many times with Porter, and he knows what I’m asking him to do and he’s just testing my limits. So, its time to put up my road block signs and show him I mean business.
To catch up… I’ll post for the last few days…
Day 1 of Time Outs: Porter throws a fit because he can’t go outside, and he’s crying and throwing himself at the sliding screen door. I pick him up and take him into his room, sit him down and tell him that he needs to stay in his room until he can stop screaming and throwing a fit. He tried walking out of his room about 6 or 7 times, and each time I just picked him up and placed him back in his room on the rug on the floor without talking to him. Eventually he stopped crying and peeked out the door (I left it open so he wouldn’t feel like he was locked in… I wanted it to be HIS CHOICE to stay in the room). I walked over to him and asked if he was ready to come out and not throw a fit and gave him a hug and told him to say sorry (he doesn’t say sorry but he kind of flaps his hand for "please" "thank you" and when I told him to say "sorry")
Day 2 of Time Outs:Porter is playing in the yard, and is whacking my flowers with the gardening shovel spade thingy. I take Kim’s advice and say "Porter, stop whacking mommy’s flowers" and he looks at me and continues whacking. (wow whacking is a funny word) I catch his attention again and say "Porter, if you whack mommy’s flowers again you’re going to go in a time out." He whacks again. So I go and pick him up (little punk tries to run) and I sit him on the step to the deck. I tell him "Porter, you didn’t listen to mommy and now you’re going to be in a time out. You need to stay here for one minute". He started to cry, tried to get off the step, and I just quietly placed him back on. I sat on the deck reading a magazine, he kept looking at me saying "Hi Mama! HI!!" alternated with whining and trying to get down. Finally after he stayed in place for a full minute (or close to), I did the whole explaining thing, sorry, hug again and life was good.
Day 3 of Time Outs: We were in the yard playing and P was in my landscaping… I’ve become way too lax on this as it used to be a huge peeve when kids played/ran in my rocks. Now with the dogs having access to this side of the yard, they’ve dug my landscaping to hell and I figure what does it matter. However, I want P to know its not acceptable to play in landscaping, as I wouldn’t want him to do that at someone else’s house. I walked over to him and got on his level (Kims advice) and told him that he couldn’t play in the rocks, stay out of mommy’s rocks" or whatever… He turned around and walked right back into them, so I re-told him and let him know if he did it again he’d be choosing a time out. He did it again, and I quickly took him to the Time Out step letting him know that he chose a time out by not listening to me. It was funny this time, as he actually sat there on the step, looked a little sad, but sat there the whole time. He’d stretch his leg out to try to kick a weed, but kept his bottom on that step. So, Day 3 went well.
Day 4 of Time Outs: Porter hasn’t been eating well lately (damned year and a half old curse!!) and he refused to eat lunch at 11:15. We ran to Target and got home and I asked him if he wanted to eat again. He said "LUNCH!" and ran to the table, so I got out his leftover lunch from earlier and sat it in front of him. He spotted the cookies in the pantry and kept repeating "tee tee! tee tee!" I told him no, no cookies until you eat your lunch. That threw him over the edge. He started to shove his food, so I took it away and told him if he was going to throw his food he was choosing to get down. I took him down from the table and he began a freak out fit, crying, throwing himself down etc. He was WAY overtired, and I knew that was part of it. However, a fit is a fit, so I picked him up and put him in his room and told him when he could stop screaming he could come out. He seems to know not to leave his room, he kept coming to the edge of the doorway and wanted Rocky and his truck which were in plain view in the living room. I did NOT let him have them (NO REWARDS FOR BAD BEHAVIOR) and told him to stay in his room until he was done crying. He tried to sneak out so I placed him back in the middle of his room on the rug. Finally he came to the door and was just sniffling/hiccuping, so I got down on his level and asked if he was done throwing a fit and he hugged me (aww).
So… I guess I’ll let my Thoughts for Thursday be a spin off of Life as We Know It Right Now With A Maniac One Year Old.
How do you handle the following "toddler issues." What has worked for your kid/kids. What hasn’t. Give me some new ideas!
Tantrums.
Not listening
Throwing food
Not sitting still in a restaurant** ooh let me expand on that below
Whining
**Ok, so about a week and a half ago we had our first horrible restaurant experience with Porter. Alright, he wasn’t HORRIBLE, but he was so not his normal. Normally he sits pretty well, he plays with toys we bring, reads his books and chows his food. Lately he hasn’t been that into food, so that doesn’t keep his attention for long. We went out to eat with Cathy and Dave (Ry’s parents) for their birthday’s and Porter started squirming in the highchair and whining and I knew a fit was in the cards. Before he could throw a fit and we’d have to remove him and he’d think he got his way, we took him out and let him stand in the booth. However, he liked banging his head on the glass divider and tried grabbing at everything on the table… not to eat, but to play. We finally took him out of the restaurant and let him walk around outside, and then tried the highchair again (which he arched his back right away punk ass) and we tried letting him sit in the booth again. Again, he didn’t eat dinner, and Ry’s dad took P back outside to walk. He was ONE OF THOSE children. Those bad children who can’t sit for a meal, who has no manners. This was NOT MY CHILD. OH MY WORD. I wanted to beat his bottom, and Ryan was utterly embarrassed of him. I know at 18 months this is somewhat normal, but I want to instill good table manners/behavior in him NOW so that when he’s 2 and 3 he knows that he isn’t going to be allowed to get down and run around.
The other day I read a parenting article on the Dr. Phil website that said that when a child is this age and acts bad in a restaurant have one parent take them out to the car, strap them in the car seat and ignore them so they learn that if they’re bad, they get to go sit in the boring car while everyone else enjoys their meal inside. That is such a good idea! We were, in a way, rewarding Porter for acting like that by letting him go walk around outside… exactly what he wanted to do!! UGH. So, the next time we’ll try the car seat/ignore method. What do you think?
***ETA*** a few awesome articles from Dr. Phil (very quick reads!)
Five Steps to Disciplining Your Kids
Age Appropriate Discipline Techniques
How to Stop a Tantrum in Seconds
How to Tame Your 2-Year Old
For more Thoughts on Thursday postings check out:
nicolebarczak.com 
All I have to say is, “why the hell do they even call it the “terrible twos”, when it’s clearly the terrible 18 mo. and on.
We used the whole time out thing with Alyssa and that has always worked well for us…we usually used the same spot every time, so eventually all we had to say was “WALL”, and she knew she was in big trouble and to go sit by the wall in time out. (we didn’t make her face the wall or anything…i’d rather her have to see what she’s missing by having to sit still, sounds mean but it’s got to be a punishment not just a rest, ya know?)
Sounds like the P-man is learning quickly! Then like in the restaurant you can say “Porter you’re going to go to a time out in the car”, and he’ll know it’s bad news.
Oh, and I meant to say that the whole throwing food thing…That’s like my biggest pet peeve. My rule of thumb is you throw your food, then you must not be hungry so you’re done. It only took two times of taking Alyssa’s food away, and she never threw it again. (of course we gave her a bigger snack before bed, I’m not talking starve the kid here…lol) We just explained calmly that food is only for putting in your mouth to eat, and not for playing.
It’s got to be a boy thing…My girlfriend who has a boy looked at me like I was crazy when I said it only took two times with A…they tried the same thing as we did with their son, and she said it took almost two weeks before he finally gave up and stopped throwing! I think boys just have that “gotta throw, gotta tackle, gotta run” in their blood!
We use time-outs with Cloey and have used them for quite awhile. We mostly took the advice of “Supper Nanny” and used the naughty corner. At all houses, grandparents, ours, aunts & uncles there was a set corner so if behavior was a problem there we had a “corner”. It has worked well and Cloey knows when she is bad and that she must hit the corner. I know that the corner did not work well for some of my family members with one of my cousins, the irregularity of places caused problems for my cousin. To help solve the problem the van carseat was always the timeout place, even at home. It worked out very well for them and was the consistency that Sydney needed.
Hey Nikki B…Ha!Ha!, Don is actually the one who calls you Nikki B., I’m just laughing after I read Heather’s comments!
Anyways, I’m pretty much in the same boat as you are. Donnie is about at the same stage Porter is at right now, and I am trying all the Mom tactics out there to help with throwing food, having temper tantrums, not wanting to take his naps(he thinks he’s the energizer bunny or something)….so, I’m going to just read your comments for some much needed advice also, hey thanks for posting this..LOL!
Good thread! I’ve been pondering the whole time out thing, and when to start it…man this is hard. Sounds like you know what you are doing. I have been pouring over the Super Nanny books, just because they are the same principles. I am finding myself yelling at Olivia, and I know that doesn’t solve anything. There is good info in her books. What about biting? Or hitting?
You’ve got some reeeeeally good parenting ideas. I would pretty much discipline the same way you do, except it makes it REALLLLYYYY difficult when Jas doesn’t discipline the same way. He’s the one wrapped around her little finger and she always wins with him!! It’s so frustrating because it makes the tantrums all the worse for mommy.
And I agree with Lori… it’s definitely “terrible 18 months & on”!!! We are in the SAME boat right now. We (I) use Tiegan’s saucer, which she still fits in, for time-outs. But putting her in her bedroom would be an even better idea. I like your idea of letting the child CHOOSE their punishment. If they don’t listen, they have to sit in the place they picked. It’s that simple. Wait… simple? parenting? HAHA!
Great post 🙂