Its been a busy day… Maria’s wedding is tomorrow so tonight we had rehearsal and dinner. This is going to be a crazy busy weekend. Sunday we’re going to Plymouth Orchards with Lori, Don and the girls and will spend the day with them. I’m so excited about this weekend.
Anyhow… my TFT. I have two. I’ll do two different posts.
Ok, let me first start off by saying OH MY WORD is Porter the product of Ryan and Nicole Barczak. That child definitely has our tempers. While I’d like to say I tend to have a little more patience with frustrating situations, I will be the first to admit that I can fly off the handle and be hot headed with the best of them. And, well, lets just say Porter has started to show these signs too.
I’ll take you back to the other day. I was going to the bathroom and Porter comes in with his cup that had OJ in it. "Mo Juuuce mama" he says to me. I say calmly to him (to try to make my point clear) "Mommy is going potty. When I’m all done I’ll get you some water."
That was not good enough, apparently. I saw the steam building in his head. He threw his cup down, started whining and let out a shrill screech. Huffing and puffing, he began looking around the bathroom and his eyes locked on his potty seat. I saw where this was going. He bends down, huffing and half-screaming, grabs the potty seat and picks it up to upturn it. I lean over (we have a tiny bathroom… oh and by the way I’m sure you can guess I was taking a crap, since I was sitting there so long), and swat his butt and say "NO! You do NOT throw your potty. Sit down RIGHT THERE by the bathtub and chill out." He sits down (very angrily, though) kicking his legs and tantruming, and lays down face first into the bathroom floor crying.
He finally chills out a little and I tell him to come over to me and I try to explain that I understand that he’s so angry and mad at me that I couldn’t refill his cup right now, but he can’t start throwing things. I re-explained that I’d get him more water when I was done.
These types of rage-tantrums have begun recently, and they’re getting more frequent. I know he’s just expressing his anger but I’m not sure how to make it clear to him that expressing it by throwing things is not right, or how to let him know "what" those "feelings" are… kwim? I know he FEELS mad and angry, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. How do you get through to a 19 month old, and how do you explain to them how to deal with being angry like that?
Sometimes if he’s acting like that over something simple I send him to his room to chill out. Well, like this morning for example. He had a Nutri Grain bar for breakfast. He wanted some cereal. I gave him some Life in a cup, but no he wanted Lucky Charms. I told him no. Whining and fussing, he kept running to the pantry. I put his cup of cereal on the coffee table and he paced the kitchen a bit, attempting to sit and kick his legs a little. He ran out to the living room and I saw that he was going to grab the cup and throw it. I cut him off and in my mean man voice told him "You had better NOT throw that cereal!!!" He threw himself down and started crying and whining. I told him to go sit in his room until he was done. He did, and not even 2 minutes later he was fine and playing with his trains.
So, what do I do when he does this throwing stuff act? I know he needs to be punished, but I want the lesson to be deeper than that. I want him to not just learn that thats unacceptable, but to learn how to handle the anger too… I want to teach him how to say "Mommy I’m so ANGRY right now!" not just run off and throw whatever is in his way.
What do I do!!! And, along with that, please tell me my kid is not the only one year old having these throwing-things-when-mad episodes!!