Just in case there is any confusion

Here’s an addendum to my TFT this week, spurred by Heather’s psuedo response (basically copied from my comment, but I felt that maybe I should clear up any confusion here on my blog?)

The gist of my post
was that we all have weak times as parents and that its okay to be
human and have shitty days where we don’t give our all. We can’t be our
personal best every day of our lives. And when we have those bad days
where those types of behaviors are the best that can be mustered up, we
shouldn’t feel guilty about it and feel like we aren’t being as good as
so-and-so because they wouldn’t dare do something like that with their
child. Such as… I do play with my child, but there are days where I
just don’t have the energy or patience. I feed him healthy foods most
of the time, but there are days where we’re rushed and he just gets
whatever. I talk to him on car rides, we sing songs, we have
conversations… but there are days where he’s too whiny and its just
easiest to put in a movie.

So what if every once in awhile I
am slacking in my own personal best as a good mom. So what if every
once in awhile I can’t be the best mom I should be for my son… we are
ALLOWED those slip ups. Yes, we should always be trying to give the
best side of ourselves to our children and set good examples for our
children, but it is not possible to be and do that 100% of the time.
THAT is the guilt we pose upon ourselves that we need to let go of. The
guilt that so-and-so does it this way and so-and-so has it together
much better than me and why can’t I be like that, and why can’t I not
scream at my child when I’m pushed too far over the edge and why can’t
I always have a home cooked meal on the table and why can’t I be happy
with my children every minute of the day? Those things are the things
we as mothers need to let go of and not feel guilty about. We all slip
up at times, and its okay to do that.

Yes, in the perfect
world we’d all be proactive rather than reactive. But, like I said, we
have to learn to accept that we are not perfect and be okay with that
instead of always trying to be a perfect parent, creating the perfect
life for our kids and then feeling like shit when our life isn’t
perfect.

  1. I think your post was written out plain & clear as a parent who loves her child to the moon & back 100 times & more. But we cannot all be super-parent every minute. It was refreshing to read that other Mom’s out there feel that way & I am not the only one who gets a little cross-wired @ parenthood sometimes, even after 14 yrs! (even though my husband likes to make me feel like the only crazy loon in the world who feels this way!)
    Have a great weekend 🙂

  2. I agree, I think your post made it clear that you ARE a mother that gives their 100% every waking moment that she can. I feel like my comment needs some clarification, too… reading back on it, it sounds like I’m okay with being a lazy mom. And that’s totally not what I was trying to say, but I’m sure you got what I meant!

  3. I wasn’t at all interpreting your post in a way that YOU might say you sick of trying to be a “perfect mom” as an excuse to not be the mom that you can be.
    You are an awesome mom Nic; you are THE BEST mom for Porter.

    Yes, we all have our moments, we all have our days. I did not feel in the least, that you were saying that moms should just give up and not try to be good moms. I’m so sorry if it came across that way.

    I did love what you wrote and I think a lot (obviously a lot from the comments!) of mom’s relate to that all to well. I know I do.

    I was simply trying to say that for me, with the patterns I’ve developed over the last couple of years, with the challenges of two kids, with being so much more on my own after having moved away from so many of our friends and our family, or whatever the reason is, that for me it’s more than that.

    This turned into another novel, so I’m moving the rest of my comment over to my blog. You want to follow me over there? lol!

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