Fish and Chips and Vinegar

Remember that song? Well, the tune has been playing through my head all weekend, except with the substitute words “Piss and Shit and Vinegar.”

Yes, you heard me.

That’s what my weekend has consisted of.

Last Thursday Ryan woke up to Porter standing by his side of the bed, pants off, next to a pile of diarrhea. Looked like a total accident. Porter was upset, yadda yadda yadda. We consoled him, cleaned it up and moved on.

Then, on Friday I think, I twice found pee on Porter’s rug in his bedroom. A stripe of pee and then a little puddle. Two separate times. He confessed. I wondered if it was an accident and really didn’t scold him too much.

Aubri and Addi stayed the night Friday and on Saturday morning I woke up to find Aubri and Porter awake in his room.

Aubri had just a shirt on. Porter had just a random pair of pj shorts and was scrubbing a pile of poop into his rug with a paper towel (told you he was a good problem solver).

What. The. Hell.

Aubri said that Porter peed on her pants (although we’re still not clear on what really happened as her underwear were soaked like she peed her pants and Heather had told me the night before that she’d been peeing her pants lately…. BUT… she typically cries when she pees her pants- she gets upset about it). Porter said he pooped and was cleaning it up.

What a mess!!

So, I yelled at Porter for pooping and told him if I found him peeing or pooping on the floor again I’d make him wear diapers again and he’d have to sit in his poop and pee in his diaper like a baby does.

Not long after, he and Aubri went to go downstairs in the basement. I went to stop them as I have all my scrapbook stuff set up and when Porter has an audience he likes to get crazy. I walk downstairs to see Porter pulling his underwear up….. and streaks of pee all over the carpet. Ohhh he tried to pull those pants up fast as I flew down the stairs to crack his bare butt.

Fast forward to yesterday…. Porter got up from his nap, we all got ready for Donnie’s birthday party and just before we were leaving I walked into Porter’s room to find another streak and puddle of pee.

I went downstairs and turned Porter’s tv show off and asked him if there was anything in his bedroom he needed to tell me about. He said no. I told him we needed to go up to his room and have a talk. He whined the whole way and as we entered his room I asked him “Is there anything you need to tell me about?” He immediately had that “oh….. yeah” look.


I told him that if he was going to be a baby and pee on the floor then he’d have to wear diapers. I made him put on a diaper and take off his underwear… told him he couldn’t wear his new Mickey Mouse underwear because babies don’t wear underwear. Then we took away all of his underwear in his drawer and replaced it with his nighttime diapers (which are just regular size 4 diapers).

He was upset, and thus far no pee puddles. He’s still going potty in the toilet, which I was worried we were just going to regress back into diaper mode again.

THEN…. when we got home from the Huff’s, it was late as we’d stayed to have margaritas and watch some shows, I was quickly picking up the house before heading to bed. I took some toys into the toy room and stepped in something wet. PEE!

I asked Ryan if the dogs had been in the house and he said no. He went up stairs and I heard him talking to Porter and asking him why he would do that. Porter said he’d peed in the toy room before we left. GRRRR!!!

I have no idea what the hell to do. Has anyone else ever had this type of situation? Is he trying to get attention? Is he just being a punk? What is going on? I should mention…. Porter has been potty trained for 6 months and we’ve had maybe 2 accidents in that time. These are not accidents. There are no wet underwear, no wet pants. He’s pulling his pants down and PEEING ON MY FLOOR!

  1. Wow, that really sucks. We had a long period of time where Annika would pee her pants, not all of the pee but enough that we needed to change her. I found that she was just waiting too long (preoccupied and didn’t want to interrupt playing to pee). So, I did a few things. First I made a point to make her go pee every hour or so, just like we did when we were first potty training. Second I started a chart. I put contact paper over it and divided it up into days of the week. Everytime she would pee on the potty and stayed dry she would get a smiley face. If she was wet she would get a frown. If she got 3 frowns in one day I took a toy away. I think I only took a toy away 2 times total. Now we don’t have any problems. I found that telling her she was going to have to wear diapers didn’t work. Scolding her about it too made it worse I think. I was so frustrated but found that a little more diligence solved the problem. Good luck. It sucks, I’ve been there and I don’t want to go back! Too bad I have 2 more to potty train! Ughhh!

  2. Wow, that’s alot of pee my friend! The part that really stood out to me is that Callie and Porter wear the same size diapers HAHAYou know what I think it is? In the beginning they are totally into the potty training because it’s new, exciting etc. Morgan was dry for maybe 5 months at night. Then the novelty wore off and he hasn’t been dry at night since. I think it just loses it’s thrill. You could try the timer thing where you set it for 30 minutes or whatever then make him go and try.Michelle’s idea is awesome too – the reward and consequence thing usually works really well.

  3. Colin did this. He was dry (never at night but during the day) for at least a month and then he had accidents every. day. (How long ago did Porter train?) Yuck! Yelling and punishing didn’t work for me and I just upped my attentiveness during the day and had him sit on the toilet every half hour or so. He got through it. It wasn’t fun though. I hope this helps!

  4. Oh Joy! Wonder why P’s doing that??? Hmmm… that is odd. Sorry I have no advice for you… I am clueless!I had a couple questions for you. What are the dimentions you use for your banner? I forgot the other one! haha! Its been one of those days! Thanks!

  5. Sorry, I have no suggestions for you but i’m busting a gut at your title, I can’t get your version of that song out of my head! lol

  6. Wow I am speechless! I never thought that kids would do that!! LOL! Other than like pee wars, maybe when they are older in the tub. But geez! I bet you are going nuts over this. I wish I had some advice, but I havent been there yet. And Gawd I hope I dont! 😦

  7. Sawyer was fully in underwear and staying dry for almost two months straight and then he suddenly started having accidents again all the time. I had just been bragging to Ryan how we had never had an accident in public (rarely accidents at home even) and then Sawyer goes and pees in the car (carseats are the WORST to clean up) and then also at the church. In the same outing. Ugh! Anyway, after that he had almost an accident a day. Getting stern with him, telling him he should know better, or having him be in trouble seemed to make it worse. I just kind of ignored it, made him go in and try more often and had him change himself and clean it up (as much as reasonably possible) himself and it just got better after a couple of weeks.Is P taking his pants off and peeing or is he having “accidents” (whether they’re really accidental or not) in his pants all of these times? If it’s in his pants, I’d say just like Kim said, the novelty has worn off and he probably just finds himself to busy to stop and think about going to the bathroom until it’s too late. That’s normal. If he’s pulling down his pants and peeing or pooping purposely on the floor… well then I don’t know what to tell ya!

  8. The same thing was happening with Lexi about a month ago, she was turning my house into her personal toilet! I think it ultimately came down to her wanting our attention because she would only do it when we were home. I also made her wear diapers for a few days and she’s been fine ever since. My house, on the other hand, still smells like a urinal:P

  9. i went through this with one of my boys. even though i seriously wanted to choke him-i just cleaned it up ad was like “whoops”. ot the reaction he wanted. he stopped.

  10. My kids still don’t like to stop what they are doing to go to the restroom. Maybe that’s the issue. ??? Whatever it is, good luck!

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