Summer has gone by in such a blur. I feel like I’m caught in a rapid current and I’ve been trying to grasp onto anything that might slow things down. No such luck. Like last summer, I feel like I’ve accomplished about 10% of the things I set forth to accomplish throughout the “looooong” summer.
A tiny part of me is looking forward to fall. This summer has been ridiculously hot and muggy- the worst kind of weather to me. I’d almost take a snowstorm over the hot muggy weather. Seriously. I love fall and am a bit excited about the cool weather, crunchy leaves, Halloween costumes, Thanksgiving gatherings and Christmas magic.
The other day, Porter’s preschool teacher called to confirm he’d be attending JPS. We have enrolled him in JPS, originally Sharp Park Academy, and I am really really excited for this year for him. I am beyond impressed with their curriculum and I have already fallen in love with his teacher. While he won’t be at Sharp Park Academy (they are redoing two classrooms so preschool has been moved to Frost), I know this year will be great for him. I was kind of looking forward to the dress code (uniform) at Sharp Park, but now that he’s at Frost and won’t have to wear a uniform I’m excited to take him school clothes shopping. And I’m actually going to TAKE him, too, because he has such an opinion about what he wears lately. I know for sure on the must-get list are Gap’s boot fit jeans because those are flipping adorable on him.
Today I received a call from my principal with confirmation that my position is still in tact at the school. Every year my job is pretty much on the chopping block and with the budget cuts every.single.year. I’m always nervous for what is to come. I’m still holding out for a full time position, and have been quite lazy this year on applying to other districts. I have a hard time thinking about leaving the school and district I am in. I love my job and I love everyone I work with. I can’t recall a time I’ve ever come home and complained about my job. I truly love it. And I know that next year there will be some retirements, so I’m hoping that my annual “We’ll be okay for one more year with this job….” will finally hold true. My job is not an annually paid position and I don’t get paid for days I’m not there. It sucks. And while there are many times money is tight and I’m stretching myself thin trying to cram in photography sessions to make ends meet, I love my job at the school- moreso I love the school I am in- and I hope that my persistence will pay off eventually.
I’m also hoping that once I am in full time somewhere I can quit photography. Oh yes. Quit. I may just change things up and become solely a newborn and (summer) birth photographer and work minimally, but I’m not sure. There are a lot of factors that weigh in this idea…. from the hassle of running a legitimate business, taxes, bookwork, late nights of editing, travel, working on weekends, the fact that photographic talent is hardly valued anymore, and that having a full time teaching position will come with many additional responsibilities- including working some evenings at home. I also want to get back to doing what I love for the love of it. I love photography. I do. I love documenting my life…. my children’s lives. I want photography to be for documenting, not paying student loans.
This fall I am also starting my Master’s courses. I’ve put it off for too long and I have no other choice. I’m nervous about working 4 days a week, taking care of the kids and home, keeping up with photography sessions, not to mention the fact that Ryan will also be in school. I also am worried about coming up with the $400/credit hour to take these courses. I highly doubt we’ll qualify for any sort of financial aid. And with $55k in student loans already (and $20k that Ryan has…) I am determined not to take out anymore student loans. Where the money will come from…. I’m not sure.
And more stress with fall… daycare. The sole item on the list that makes me despise being a working mom. Last year Oma watched the boys 2 days a week and the other 2 days Hudson was at daycare while Porter did preschool and went to LeeAnn’s. Well… Marleen (Hudson’s daycare) is on maternity leave until the end of October and my grandma has been having a lot of medical issues with her legs and may require another surgery. Porter also needs transportation 4 days a week either to or from preschool. I will be able to do one or the other, but not both. I need to get on the ball and get things lined up. I hate that I’m the one that does all the scheduling and Ryan pretty much has no clue how stressful it is. If I were working full time I’d put them both in daycare and be done with it but we can’t afford daycare for them for the entire week with my current job.
This weekend I’m hoping to cram in some fun summer stuff. We’re taking the boys to the fair tomorrow to eat fair food, see the animals and go to the Monster Trucks. Hudson has never been, and I know he’s going to love it.
Next week marks the 2 week mark before school starts. There are so many things I still want to do! I might have to make a crammed week next week to fit some things in. We’ll see….