This afternoon I came across this blog post: What I love about being a Mama: Sibling Friendships and while I could relate to that euphoric feeling of melting into a puddle at seeing your children truly LOVE each other, it also made me feel really sad. Sad, you say? Why?! *sigh*
Sometimes I feel like the biggest mama failure ever because my kids rarely seem to like each other.
The boys fight ALL. THE. TIME. And if I were to pinpoint a “culprit” it would be Porter… because I swear to goodness we can get into the car after pickup and I ask how their days were and Hudson starts to excitedly tell me and Porter, rarely ever fails, has to make some snide remark about how stupid that was or that sounds dumb. I mean, its not ALWAYS Porter, but if I were honest he’s the instigator 75% of the time.
It’s not just that… its really so much more. The boys get along with Amelia great. She’s the munchkin little sister that they adore. Sure, she annoys them but for the most part, they bend over backwards for her… her little antics and needs are charming and adorable. But with each other? They can’t see past the ends of their noses. A brother asking for a favor is a huge inconvenience. They don’t talk nice to each other.
Don’t get me wrong… there are times that they get along beautifully. Usually it is when I am fed up with their fighting so I send them both to their separate rooms, only to find they’ve snuck into Porter’s room to quietly play legos together. And there are times they’ll wrestle and joke around, or ask to have sleepovers in Hudson’s room (because he has 2 beds), or times that they play Minecraft together and crack each other up. Oh I relish those times… I stare at them in awe wondering why… WHY can’t it be like this all the time? Why can’t they have this beautiful “siblingship” where they adore each other and have each others back all the time?
I don’t really know how to change it. I don’t really know what I’ve done wrong… or what I can do to make it right. Sometimes I feel like its a crapshoot, this siblingship… that personalities often just clash and make it impossible for them to be “friends” most of the time. But sometimes I feel like its something I’ve done, something I’ve not nurtured, somewhere I’ve gone wrong.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this… I’d love to know how your children’s relationships are. Are they close in age? Far apart? Different genders or the same? Do they share a room? Do they have similar personalities? Has their friendship been close from the beginning or was it a work in progress? Tell me the scoop, friends…. this mama needs help.