Look who’s been in Time Out! this weekend…

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Yesterday, Porter kept putting Lion in "Time OUT!" and sitting him in the corner beside his changing dresser.  It was so funny! 

Speaking of time outs…. Porter has been getting plenty a day (I’m sure thats why he’s feeling like putting a little of the brunt on poor Lion).  He is JUST NOT LISTENING!  This evening I’m not kidding… Ryan put him in 3 time outs in a row because he either asked him to do something and gave him a warning to follow through, or told him not to do something and Porter went ahead and did it.  Now… here’s my question.  I’m wondering if we should reserve T.O’s for things like hitting, excessive whining, throwing tantrums ("go to your room until you stop screaming" works pretty good so far), etc….

For example… we were just kind of lounging on the floor this evening in the living room.  About 15 minutes before, Porter had threw his bulldozer at me so I confiscated it (telling him of course that he couldn’t play with it anymore today b/c he hit me with it and hitting is bad).  Now, we’re lounging on the floor, and Porter hits Ryan with his hands (I think).  Ryan puts him in TO.  Then he tells him "You have another minute for throwing your loader.  I’ve told you too many times today not to throw your toys."

Ok… break! 

Now, I realize… yes, he threw his loader.  It is against the rules.  He’s been way to into throwing toys and I have no clue where he picked this up from.  Driving me INSANE.  But… I personally think the double time out is way too confusing for a one year old.  I told Ryan this.  He said he broke a rule so he’s getting punished for it.

Fastforward a whole 2 minutes later.  Ry and P are picking up Porter’s blocks.  Porter starts to dump the container again.  Ryan can see his gears turning.  He warns him "Do not dump those blocks out or you will be in a time out."  (Now… at this point I would have helped Porter sit the container down and redirect him to finish picking up the block.  Ryan leaves him to his own poison, knowing he’ll go on to dump the blocks, earning a time out).  Well.  Porter dumps the blocks.  Time out again.  All of these TO’s Ryan explained to him that "You are not listening, Porter… I told you not to do ____________ and you did it." 

So, in a matter of like 5 minutes, he had 3 time outs.  A little much, no? I’m just not sure what to do… Yes, he is NOT listening.  He is being hard headed and pushing buttons.  But isn’t there another way to discipline him for not listening?  I think T.O. is great for if he throws his toys, hits, climbs over the couch after being warned not to or told to stop, whining…. etc…. but I just don’t think a kid Porter’s age can grasp the "You’re in a time out for not listening."  I mean, to him… what the hell is "listening".    Granted, when he doesn’t listen, we are constantly saying "Porter, you’re not listening.  I asked you to _____________."  but I’m not sure how much that is sinking in (or else I wouldn’t be writing a post about my kid not listening HAHA!)

So… advice?  Please??

  1. I do agree with you that children need discipline even at his age. However, I wouldn’t over use the time outs. They might lose their effectiveness. Maybe you could continue to take things away from him, talk sternly, etc. Just be consistent. Hope this helps.

  2. I’m not an expert on this sort of thing (yet – lol), but I agree with the listening thing. Kids have such a short attention span as it is, that is it were me, I would keep the T.O’s to throwing, hitting, etc… If P is anything like Gavin, he gets focused and tunes me out as it is. Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

  3. We reserve time outs for really bad things, like hitting her sister, or standing on the chair, etc. When it comes to not listening, I usually just get her to focus on me and tell her what needs to be done. It seems to work well, but everything takes time, and they are pretty young! So, don’t expect perfection.

  4. We’ve noticed that TO are becoming a little more frequent as well. I’ve been trying “let’s go talk” and take him my room, on my bed, and I tell him what I expected of him and that he didn’t listen. I make him repeat what it is that I want done of him. Kinda like a little pep talk before we go back into the living room and do what we are suppose to do. I’ve been using these and even Lukas is starting to pick up on it. If he knows that he just did something wrong, and got the look from me, He will ask me “Go Talk?” Its so freaking cute, but I can’t crack a smile, as I am suppose to be an unhappy mom about this situation. That way we aren’t always putting Lukas in TO for everything, we are using that less frequently and save it for the throwing, hitting and more deserving reasons. And maybe this will even teach him, that if you aren’t getting what you want, then you talk it out and review things rather than throwing a fit and no discussion said.

  5. I was just re-reading this one, as I heard Jason putting Tiegan in her 10th time out (I swear) today, for “not listening”. It must be a guy thing!

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