Wow! All this Santa and present talk has got me thinking. Last night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I kept thinking about presents. As I wrote in my previous post, last year we "started" the tradition of giving Porter 4 gifts from us. "Something you want, something you need, something to play with, something to read."
The thing is, I’m really having a hard time restraining myself to just 4 gifts for him. Four gifts that really include 2 toys (Something you want, something to play with), books (something to read) and a necessity (something you need). I just wonder… as he grows up… is this going to SUCK for him? I mean, I don’t want my kids being greedy gift mongers at all. I want them to realize that Christmas isn’t just about getting gifts. But come on, we all know how fun it is to get gifts. And I keep thinking… is 4 gifts, with being limited to two being toys… "enough"?
I’ve been trying to think of ways to alter this, but still keep my kids from becoming greedy and expecting 20+ gifts at Christmas time. I liked the idea of the 4 gift rule so that the kids will put a little thought into their lists as they’re older. They can think of things they NEED. Things they want to READ. Know what I mean?
Some ideas I’ve come up with…
- Keep the "4 gift rule" as a base to start from. Those are what they can expect. And, if wanted, we can wrap additional smaller gifts (under $10) from us as well.
- Have the "4 gift rule" be from Santa, and we buy him a few gifts of our own. After reading everyone’s posts about how fun it was to see an "abundance" of gifts from Santa on Christmas morning, I wondered if that would be more fun than just one gift from Santa?
- Ditch the whole thing altogether and overindulge.
- Stick with the "4 gift rule" from US, but have Santa bring a few more gifts rather than just one beside the stocking. That way they’ll have a gift unwrapped beside the stocking (because that was my tradition as a kid) but also a few smaller gifts ($15 and under) wrapped in special Santa paper. (I’m liking this one the best….)
Another thing that I’ve been thinking of. Cost of gifts. Number of gifts. Keeping gifts "equal" among siblings. Here are some questions I’d like to ask of you guys (in addition to… What the hell do you think of my ponderings above?).
How do you buy for your kids for Christmas…
- Do you stick to a price limit for each child? (ie… $100 per kid, etc) If so, what is your limit?
- Do you go by number of gifts, regardless of price? (ie… each kid gets 10 gifts) If so, how many do you buy?
- For each of the above… how do you handle kids who want expensive electronics? If it reaches your spending limit, is that it? If you go by number of gifts, do you try to even it out with the other kids… so that one child doesn’t get $300 spent on them and the others who don’t ask for expensive stuff only get $150 spent on them?
- If you do Santa Gifts… what does this consist of… price wise? How many gifts from Santa? What is the total costs of all your Santa gifts, per child?
- What constitutes a "big gift"…. what price? Or do you go by size?
nicolebarczak.com 
Since we only have one child right now I can’t say how we handle our own children’s presents, but for nieces and nephews we try to keep the gifts around the same price. As for those kids who want expensive gifts, growing up we’d combine occasions (i.e. both birthday and Christmas) because it would be too much to spend that kind of money on each kid. We were given the option if we wanted to combine occasions or come up with something else. Then, we usually got something small to open for our birthday. We actually still do this at times for the adults. My parents like to buy us something we need and then say it’s a combined gift. I know a family that spends the same amount of money on each child (they have 4) and the older ones think they aren’t getting an equal portion when they don’t get as many gifts but their parents explain that their gifts cost more, therefore there are fewer; now the kids understand and have learned a lesson about money and that not everything costs the same and they have a choice of having more, cheaper presents or picking something that’s more expensive and not having as many to open.
My family does not do Santa gifts and never has. We were taught from the beginning that Christmas is about Jesus, not Santa and we weren’t going to pretend for the sake of having fun. My husband and I will be doing the same thing with our children.
We decided to start the four gift rule too after reading about it on your blog last year! Except we say “something to wear” instead of something to play with. We told our oldest daughter that we had a talk with Santa because he had been bringing too many things and that HE was going to only bring them 4 gifts each. They will get a few other surprises in their stockings, but we are limiting Santa gifts to those 4 things. We will still get them a few gifts from us and then one big gift together. It has made shopping this year less stressful and my daughter is being more thoughtful about what she asks for. So thanks for the idea! We are working with our church at the homeless shelter this year too so the kids are seeing first hand what it is like to be without. They will be choosing books and toys they no longer play with or want and we will be taking those to the kids there before Christmas.
I really like the idea of your four basic gifts. I was thinking of adopting that for our family. I would probably want to stick with those four being from mom and dad and adding other fun stuff in there from Santa.
In our house, here’s the general gift number… each of the kids get 1 gift from each other, 1 gift especially from “Mom”, 1 gift especially from “Dad”, usually 1 more practical gift (like clothes) from “Mom and Dad”, and a few presents from “Santa”.
So far, Santa usually brings one bigger thing that’s left unwrapped, one or two smaller (I’m talking like <$10 things like games or puzzles or Barbies or trucks) wrapped presents, and usually one wrapped present that’s for both the kids.
With my kids, when I think of Santa gifts, I think of the fun toys, the big things (in size sometimes rather than price), the kind of stuff they would actually ask Santa for, the stuff they’re just dying to have…
If it’s not a big thing like a scooter or a play kitchen, then it’s the fun little stuff that I normally wouldn’t buy for my kids myself. We’ve had our conversations before Nic, about not being the type to buy the “fad” toys or the character toys or the toys they’re only going to play with for a short time before they grow out of that phase. I save the good stuff (in my eyes), the more practical stuff for being from me… and let Santa give more of the fun for the moment toys and games. It’s just more fun that way.
As for the money aspect and keeping it even, we do try to keep it even, but I don’t add everything up specifically, just so it FEELS even to me. We usually end up spending a total of around $100 for each kid and that’s both our gifts and Santa gifts.
With the big electronics, I don’t see myself buying the really big ticket items for my kids. I think if they want something like a video game system or an air hockey table, it would be more of a combined family gift. When they want really expensive things for themselves, they can help save up money for those things and we can do part of it for Christmas or birthday or something, but I would never want to just buy them something for like $150 and have that be their only present. That’s not fun to me.
Also, Christmas in our house is very much about Jesus… the whole season is a focus on why we’re really celebrating Christ’s birth. We obviously choose to do the “pretending” to have a little bit more of that kid magic and fun. Santa and the gifts he “brings” our family, does not take away from the real spirit of the holiday and what it means to our family, it’s just a fun tradition.
Good lord, that turned into a huge comment!
Sorry!!
We have 3 children – they get presents wrapped from us, and one from each sibling, under the tree. Santa leaves stockings and unwrapped gifts on Christmas morning. Until recently we mainly tried to keep the number the same between the kids, however since our oldest is a good bit older than the 2 youngest (and her things are much more expensive!) she knows that she will probably not see as many gifts this year. I don’t have a specific number of gifts that I buy. I try to make sure they get the things they really want, usually including one ‘big’ item from Santa, and then the rest is just what feels right to me. This is also how it was done in both mine and my husbands family growing up.
We have a $100 limit for each child, but there are also specific gifts we buy every year. We get jammies that the elves bring on Christmas Eve, everyone gets a DVD and a book(s), there’s also an ornament from Bronner’s and stocking stuffers. Usually by the time we’ve gotten those things there’s enough left over for 1 or 2 more presents off Santa’s list. I was worried last year that it might not be enough- $100 goes VERY fast- but Audrey actually got a little overwhelmed. We took a Christmas break and finished opening her presents the next day.
We try to put a cap on the kids in a whole all together as far as gifts & we can tend to spend more on one child verses another (not for any particular reason-just if one childs gifts are pricier, we don’t run around trying to match $ for $) For instance Lydia has a Leapster game system, so we bought her 2 games, & we bought Isaac the game system for Christmas. 2 gifts verses 1 gift, but the prices are totally different, I won’t worry about making up the difference to her in price or him in quantity. kwim? 🙂
I had always hoped to start a tradition that I had read about, but never have. With stockings, have Santa bring just 3 gifts for the kids, just as Jesus received 3 gifts for his birthday. Of course there would be no gold, frankincense & myrrh, but to try & tie in the real meaning of Christmas & not let the whole stocking thing get out of hand. Santa is already just so practical here & doesn’t bring big ticket items, so I have tried it.
I don’t have kids but I will tell you what my sister does. She does 3 gifts from Santa for each of her kids and they are all toys, dvd’s, games and so on… And then, she and her husband buy them a Big present and then a new outfit. She has done this since they were small and now that are 6, 12 and 13 and it still works out really well. You also have to think about all of the other gifts they get from other family members. Grandma and Grandpa, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends.
I am totally “stealing your idea” for Christmas – what a great idea!! Then I think we’ll do a few presents from Santa and a present from their siblings.
i have been struggling with this as my family has grown. last year i went way overboard and i swear i’m not doing it again. i love your four gift idea and i think we might use that. usually santa brings 1 big gift and 1 wrapped gift (in santa paper) then the kids also get a book, a movie, a cd and new pjs and then other stuff they want too. this year i will be changing it. we may do the 4 gifts from santa and then 1 from mom/dad and i’m going to have the kids draw each others name. i think they get too overwhelmed trying to pick gets for 3 other siblings. we’ll see… i’m still thinking.
“Stick with the “4 gift rule” from US, but have Santa bring a few more gifts rather than just one beside the stocking.”…DEFINITELY!!
IMO, I think “Santa’s presents” should be the fun ones. That way when kids see Santa they won’t be tempted to berate him for getting boring stuff like socks the year before!! LOL!!
Ok, in total honesty, I say scrap the ideas and just overindulge! My kids don’t get a whole lot of toys throughout the year, hardly ever actually. So, xmas and their bdays are the one time I can go nuts. I grew up like this and I’m not greedy, nor selfish. I understand the true meaning of xmas and actually enjoy giving, rather than receiving. That being said, you need to do what’s right for your family. We do 1 gift each from santa, unwrapped, plus stocking stuffers. The rest is from us. That’s how I grew up. My mom always made sure to spend the same amount, and have the same amount of gifts. How she did it? Not sure, still trying to figure that one out. At this stage of the game, the girls don’t count gifts, nor do they know what we’ve spent so it doesn’t matter. But, we always got 1 big gift valued at $100, and the rest were littler things. My mom always went overboard though, really, you wouldn’t even believe how much she got us. But, we weren’t spoiled the rest of the year, so that set a good balance, in my mind. Good luck figuring things out!