When 2 year olds are quiet….

I never posted my first incident a few weeks back where Porter decided to dust my mom’s nightstand with my loose face powder. It was one of those “Gee… Porter has been quiet for awhile…” type of incidents. It was a mess and I, true photographer style, grabbed my camera without a second thought.


Today I was blogging and then realized Porter had been preeeetty quiet upstairs by himself. We have wood floors in the entire upstairs, so you can usually hear walking/playing. I hadn’t heard any of that in awhile. I heard him start to come down the stairs so I went to investigate.

He looks at me, grinning… “HellllOOO Mommy!” in his most chipper, optimistic voice (probalby hoping I wouldn’t notice the goo smeared all over his belly, face and leg). I assessed the situation, peered closer to try to identify the goo all over him. Was it baby lotion? Was it Nystatin cream? Shampoo? Or… quite possibly… the new hair product that is thick and gooey and glue-like. Yep. That’s it. And it appears that there is a smear of foundation near his belly button. Oh holy hell, what am I going to find upstairs.

I walked past Porter on the stairs saying “Ohhhh Porrrter…. Ohhh…” and he says, giggling… “I’m a goof! I’m a goofball, mommy!” If only you knew, kid.

I get to the top of the stairs and see my powder brush and foundation brush laying on the bathroom floor… matted with white gunk. I peer into the bathroom… it looks a little messy, but I hadn’t picked up from getting ready that morning so nothing was that out of place. The bottle of hair paste was nowhere in sight. That made me nervous.


I went into the guest room to grab my point and shoot camera. Covered in goo. He must have known I’d want pictures and attempted to take them himself.

This whole time I’m saying “ohhh Porter…..”

I walk into his room, slowly, a bit nervous about finding that bottle of hair paste. There it was… on his night stand, with my eyeshadow brush sticking straight out of it like a stirring stick. And next to it was my eyebrow pencil with a gob of paste on it. Nice.



Luckily there wasn’t much else that was damaged. I definitely need to go shopping for new makeup brushes tomorrow. That’s what I get for letting silence and a 2 year old mix for too long.

And don’t let me forget the phone call I received tonight while scrap booking…

(ryan) I know why our kid has been acting weird lately.

(me) Oh? Why?

(r) He just crapped out a paperclip. Its in his poop. One of the BIG paper clips.

(me) OMG. How the hell…..

And how about Wednesday when I had to call Poison control because I found our bottle of fruity flavored Tums in Porter’s room after naptime… quite possibly 1/4 of the way emptier than it has been earlier that day.

This kid sure keeps me on my toes.

15 Comments

  1. WOW! what a little stinker! That’s crazy about the paperclip. I am just waiting for the day that one of my kids swallow something, or shove something up their nose. That will be a fun visit to the dr. I never trust the girls upstairs, they are ALWAYS up to no good up there!

  2. OMG! That is too funny! I can only imagine what was going through his little brain of his as he was getting into everything…probably thinking it was the coolest thing ever!Never a dull moment!

  3. Sounds like Porter wants to be a scientist when he goes up, that way he can get into everything, mix anything, and get paid for it.He he he… These are the days are you wonder how people with kids laugh.

  4. oh lord… i loved reading your porter adventures. somehow i escaped that when my son was small. i love too how you documented it. he sure is a handful!

  5. I’m sorry – but I am cracking up right now! I think Lucy is headed for the same craziness! I just never know what she is going to get into!!!Your pictures of the crime scene are great!!

  6. OMG! That boy gets into EVERYTHING!! LOL! I sure hope Porter is okay with the paperclip issue. Might want to check with the doctor to see if they want to see him, just in case the paperclip hurt anything on the way down. :/

  7. seriously….. i’m not looking foward to dane getting into all this mischieve. it is only hilarious because you have to deal with it and NOT me. I feel for ya, but this is some funny stuff….. holy crap!

  8. too funny! i love the photographic evidence you captured. every time tucker is up to no good and you ‘find him’ the first thing is shouts out is ‘HIII!’ in his happiest voice – it’s just like if he would yell ‘i’ve been up to no good!’ as they mean the same thing! oh, i love how porter went to find the camera – lol!

  9. You are so funny! I can’t believe you can actually grab your camera during these moments. I am always trying to just remain calm and keep from cracking up when my little ones do crazy things. The paper clip is just hilarious. Thanks for keeping it real and sharing your wonderful blog. I really enjoy reading it.

  10. LOL…what a cutie. Im sorry to laugh…but this all brings back too many memories of my boys at this age. 🙂 Imagine 2 of them… Im glad you were able to think and take pictures! They are great!!! Looks like he was going to paint with the hair paste. 🙂

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