I never posted my first incident a few weeks back where Porter decided to dust my mom’s nightstand with my loose face powder. It was one of those “Gee… Porter has been quiet for awhile…” type of incidents. It was a mess and I, true photographer style, grabbed my camera without a second thought.
Today I was blogging and then realized Porter had been preeeetty quiet upstairs by himself. We have wood floors in the entire upstairs, so you can usually hear walking/playing. I hadn’t heard any of that in awhile. I heard him start to come down the stairs so I went to investigate.
He looks at me, grinning… “HellllOOO Mommy!” in his most chipper, optimistic voice (probalby hoping I wouldn’t notice the goo smeared all over his belly, face and leg). I assessed the situation, peered closer to try to identify the goo all over him. Was it baby lotion? Was it Nystatin cream? Shampoo? Or… quite possibly… the new hair product that is thick and gooey and glue-like. Yep. That’s it. And it appears that there is a smear of foundation near his belly button. Oh holy hell, what am I going to find upstairs.
I get to the top of the stairs and see my powder brush and foundation brush laying on the bathroom floor… matted with white gunk. I peer into the bathroom… it looks a little messy, but I hadn’t picked up from getting ready that morning so nothing was that out of place. The bottle of hair paste was nowhere in sight. That made me nervous.
I went into the guest room to grab my point and shoot camera. Covered in goo. He must have known I’d want pictures and attempted to take them himself.
This whole time I’m saying “ohhh Porter…..”
I walk into his room, slowly, a bit nervous about finding that bottle of hair paste. There it was… on his night stand, with my eyeshadow brush sticking straight out of it like a stirring stick. And next to it was my eyebrow pencil with a gob of paste on it. Nice.
And don’t let me forget the phone call I received tonight while scrap booking…
(ryan) I know why our kid has been acting weird lately.
(me) Oh? Why?
(r) He just crapped out a paperclip. Its in his poop. One of the BIG paper clips.
(me) OMG. How the hell…..
And how about Wednesday when I had to call Poison control because I found our bottle of fruity flavored Tums in Porter’s room after naptime… quite possibly 1/4 of the way emptier than it has been earlier that day.
This kid sure keeps me on my toes.