Today I pretty much deserve the “Rotten Mom” award. Seriously.
1) totally PMSing
2) stressed with last minute client requests
3) trying to get ready for my road trip
and, throughout all this, Porter is on my ass, getting into everything. Whining at me, begging me for attention that I wasn’t able to give him. I had things to do. Lots of things. I had people pulling me in 5 different directions, and one little guy trying to keep me grounded on earth.
There was one moment I was in the bathroom, I can’t remember what I was doing. Maybe my hair, maybe brushing my teeth. Yeah, I think it was that. And Porter of course wanted to brush his teeth, although he’d already done that. And he was getting into the toilet paper and bothering me and it had been like that ALL. Freaking. Day.
Is it too much to ask to brush your teeth without someone else hanging on your leg begging for something??
I screamed at him. I’m not kidding. One of those “out of control” she’s lost her mind screams.
“GET OUT OF HERE! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! GO! GO AND FIND A FREAKING TOY AND PLAY!”
He cowered. Seriously. And he slunk away to the living room.
My heart is breaking right now thinking about this moment. My heart about broke as I watched him run to the living room.
I turned around and tried to ignore how out of control I had been. And then when I was finished in the bathroom, I walked out to see Porter, sitting in the living room in his little rocking chair, waiting quietly for me. He raises his arms and with a smile on his face says “Hi momma! Hug?”
(choking up now… didn’t realize how bad I felt about this all until now)
How incredibly rotten am I? How incredibly awesome and forgiving is this little boy of mine who I couldn’t even take 5 damn minutes to play with this morning?? I spent all day catering to everyone else’s’ insane requests I blindly pushed aside the one person who needed my attention the most.
Just call me a piece of crap. Thats what I am today.