What the bleep bleepity bleep!!

Ok… tell me if I’m totally naive or what…

I decided for Ryan’s upcoming birthday to surprise him with guitar lessons for both of us. He’s always wanted to learn the guitar and I thought it’d be fun to take lessons together. So I found this guy on Craigslist that “advertised” “lessons” in our area. Here is his ad:

Hello.

My name is Michael, and I am offering guitar, and drum lessons. I have experience playing both for over 5 years. For drum lessons you need to have the drum set. I can’t use my drumset in my townhouse.

I am sick of seeing people charge 20 dollars for lessons so I will charge $10. That will not change. I am currently giving lessons now, and have a couple of spots open. We can work out time slots for what works with you. Great with kids.

For guitar-
I can teach you chords, scales, songs, any many styles of music. I will most likely not have you read sheet music, unless you really want to learn that way.

For drums-
You will learn proper technique for playing. You will learn beats, fills, Reading sheet music, and much more.

I have music theory, and piano experience. I’m currently in a band, and have played all over the state, and have done a national tour.

Please if your child wants lessons, and they are young make sure they really want lessons. I don’t want to waste your time, or mine.

Please contact by email for questions.

Please email at astralfeedbackmb@hotmail.com

So I emailed him this:

Hi,

I am looking for someone to give guitar lessons to my husband and I. I’m wanting to surprise him for his birthday- he’s always wanted to learn to play the guitar and I thought it’d be a surprise for me to learn with him. This is just a last minute idea I’ve had… neither of us have a guitar. Do you do semi-private lessons (two people) and if so, how much would it be? Do you have guitars we can use until we find out if this is something we want to further pursue, or should we buy guitars beforehand? When do you have times available? We are available Monday, Thursday or Friday evenings or the weekends.

Thanks,

Nicole

And I got back this….

I don’t give guitar lessons. Only c%ck s%cking lessons. If you want me to give them to you that will be alright. You need a d$ck for me suck. Just want to let you know that i like d$ck in my butt.

Seriously… WHAT THE HELLL!!!! My jaw literally DROPPED when I read his email. I was like… uh… did I miss something?!?