Heavy Hitters… You can’t top this!!!

Aubri’s 4th birthday party was this afternoon. We arrived at the park to find that there were about 3 other parties going on there as well. The parking lot was packed and there is only one in/out road, which runs alongside the playground. We get to the end and realize there aren’t any parking spots so we attempt to turn around/back in, out etc. This beat up blue Acura speeds in and blocks us in. He apparrently gets frustrated with the parking situation so he throws it in reverse and speeds through the parking lot, backwards… mind you- the drive part of the parking lot runs alongside the playground and there are kids/people no more than 15 feet from where this maniac is speeding IN REVERSE.

Ryan and I drive out, behind him and follow him to the parking lot across the road (we were going there to park, but he obviously was too). Ryan pulls up beside him and says “Are you a f***ing idiot? You just sped through that parking lot where there are kids running all around!” The guy… either in his late teens/early twenties, starts cussing at Ryan and tells him not to mess with him “today”… whatever that means. Ryan repeated himself, a little cockier, saying he could have hit a kid etc. and the guy spouted back and said “I’ll f***ing shoot you with my f***ing gun right now!” Then he proceeded to flex his arms across his chest, getting in Ryan’s face (we’re still in the van… my kids are witnessing this idiocracy.) I plead with Ryan to roll up the window and back out and park somewhere else. I get on the phone and call 911.

The guy, turns out, is attending a party right next to where Aubri’s b-day was. Great. The police arrive and I explain what happened and they walk over to the guy and frisk him in front of his family/friends. They take him to his car and I’m assuming search it. He must not have had anything on him as he walked back to his party without the police escorting him. As he walked past us he was spouting off something along the lines of “Heavy Hitters… you can’t top this.” Yeah… whatever the hell that means. It ended up being the joke of the party.

Need a knife to open a toy? I bet your new friend over there has one.

Grandpa wanted to join the wedding party for the booze? Just tell them you’re a Heavy Hitter and they’ll let you in.

Won’t let your kid have seconds of ice cream? Oh, don’t be a Heavy Hitter…

Brought a gift Aubri really liked? Can’t top this….

Anyhow… that was the highlight of the evening. A-hole.

Other random thoughts…

  • Check my photography blog later tonight for some sweet pics of Lukas’ session this afternoon.
  • I now have 3 sessions I’m behind in proofing. Guess you know what I’ll be doing as soon as I’m done with this blog post.
  • Went grocery shopping tonight. Had a few revelations….
  • When you buy fruit or veggies, do you weigh them or just buy as much as you want? I’ve observed some people weighing their apples and such and I thought… why not just buy like, 5 apples if that’s what you want? Why bother with the weight?
  • The cashier had something on his thumb that resembled a thumb condom. I thought at first it was probably for helping him turn pages of….. what?? What does he need traction on his thumb for? Ok, well, maybe money but I SWEAR this was like a teensy tiny condom for thumbs. Seriously.

8 Comments

  1. At first – totally shaking my head. Some people really are idiots!Then as I continued to read – I was cracking up. Needed a little laugh today! thanks!

  2. I just buy what I want. Although I might weigh my cherries next time. They were $4 a lb, and I didn’t have a clue how much my bag of cherries weighed. So of course my bag weighed almost 2 lbs, and it cost me over $7!! For Cherries!!?!? Yea, so you might be finding me use the scale a little bit more. For things like that.

  3. I got two words for ya “Jackson’s finest” πŸ™‚ that makes for a memorable birthday party.Thumb condoms. Hilarious. Isn’t that so they can count the money?

  4. OMG thank you for making me laugh!!! I mean it’s kind of scary that that dude could have hit someone, but he made an ass of himself acting all hard. I was gonna say the same as Jane, Jackson’s finest ;)Oh and I don’t tend to weigh my produce but that’s only because I usually get stuff that I can’t really change the weight of – like a basket of strawberries or a bunch of bananas. I think I’ve weighed produce like once in my life, lol.

  5. Cream of the crop in Jacktown!Gotta just grab the fruit…not like I can be accurate to the penny anyways!And the thumb/finger condom…nubs or no nubs? ha..seriously though, if no nubs, then he might have had a cut & if it was a thicker looking thing w/nubs..like Jane said, for counting money.

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